Inner Thoughts
by Sweet Lil Goth Gurlie
Summary: A look inside the journals of two people. What will their inner thoughts reveal?**chapter 2 now here**
1. Chapter 1

I thought of this when I was sitting in the middle of math class. Ah, the wonders of Algebra *cough-yeah-right-cough* Hope ya guys like it. 

Disclaimer: Nope, In a Heartbeat doesn't belong to me. Don't sue. I'm just a girl who likes to write and constantly wear black. J

Dear Diary, 

Well, once again my life is boring.I can't believe how hectic everything is. Can you guess whats wrong? Yep, Jamie.Well, its not that he's wrong.Its just, I don't know, its hard to explain.He's been my friend for…forever. I don't wanna screw things up and get all mushy and then drive him away. I just don't know what to do.

Why must everything make my life so miserable??????? What did I do to deserve this? Was I a bad person in a past life? It is far too complicated to comprehend.Or is it so simple that I can't see whats really in front of me because I'm too stupid? Or blind?? I don't know.

He's perfect.The most amazing eyes. I could get lost in them forever. The way his hair stands on end and blows gently in the wind. His smile that has melted my heart for years. He dresses w/ a certain flair. He's the rebel, the one on the outside. His attitude. He is o brave, so willing to do things most people wouldn't. Whenever I see him my heart begins to flutter. He is so absolutely perfect. I wish he knew how I felt. Life…an unfair game you can never win.

Well, I'm off to bed. Mom's been getting kinda pissed b/c I have a C in Spanish. When am I going to be in Mexico anyway? Oh well, adios for now.

# Caitie Roth

Hey,

Yep, its me again. Geez, I still cant believe I keep a journal. I hope that this doesn't get around. It heard that writing down thoughts is supposed to be good for your soul or mind or whatever so I guess its worth a shot considering all this hectic crap that's going on.

To put it mildly…..my life sucks crap. I cant believe how hard it is to be at school. Nah, it aint the classes, its her. Yeah, Caitie. I don't know what it is. Lately every time I talk to her I get tongue tied and look like an idiot. 

She is absolutely perfect. Her gorgeous skin. Her hair that always smells as sweet as a flower field. The way her dark hair blows gently in the wind. Those deep eyes that could most likely see to the very depths of my soul. She's amazing. Her wittiness, and strong will. Always challenging the system, making a stand. Never letting anyone push her around. She's so perfect. Caitie Roth. The only angel I see, is my best friend. We've been friends for so long. I don't wanna mess it all up. I just wish she knew that I feel this way about her. Life, an unfair game you can never win.

## Jamie R. Waite

So how was that? I hope ya guys liked it. If I get enough reviews I plan on continuing with this. Hey, this is mostly up to you all who read it. Please review, it helps me b/c I can write something I know that you'll want to read.

Gracias J

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	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

Hmmm does anyone remember this fic?? I've been planning so many parts to it, but just haven't been able to get around to typing it. So anyway…

Disclaimer: IaHB-- not mine, never was, never will be….don't sue, you'll probably only get about $3

Inner Thoughts

Dear Diary,

            Hey, tis me again…life is still the same, school, homework, school, and a whole bunch of other crap. The only reason school is any good whatsoever is Jamie.  Yes, Jamie Waite…he's perfect!!! My best friend.  The only one who understands who I am.  He cared enough to show me what a jerk Billy is even though I didn't want to believe it.  I love Jamie!!! I am so madly in love with him…now I know what Val goes through every time she sees Tyler.  Every time I see Jamie I get nervous, like I'm gonna mess up and say something stupid.  I shouldn't be so nervous, I've been with him forever…I need to tell him how I feel. But I'm afraid of a little thing called rejection.  Imagine that, me, I've never cared about anything else in life before.  But this is Jamie, My  Jamie. Who I get to go to the movies with next Friday!!!! But I'll get into that later.

He is the light of my life.  What truly makes me happy.  I want nothing more than to be with him, but why cant it be so? Why? I know we were meant to be together, it has to be!!!  He is so much a part of my life, I couldn't live without him!!! I need him! He is my true love and nothing can change that!!!

Well, I gotta go, History homework is calling me…what fun

**Caitlin M. Roth (perhaps Mrs. Jamie Waite someday? Or is that just wishful thinking?)**

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hey,

          So, how am I doin? I've been better…well, I've been less geeky that's for sure.  I swear, every time I talk to her(yes Caitie) I feel like such a dork. I wonder if she thinks I'm a dork and she's just hanging out with me because she's been doing it for so long she doesn't wanna hurt my feelings. I cant help it, but every time I talk to her I feel like I get tongue tied and cant say anything.  This is driving me crazy!! I'm just so in love with her!!!! I'm going insane, I have to tell her how I feel.  I mean I was talking to her today and I know I must have sounded like a major geek.

*********Flashback****

"Hey Jamie" Caitie said as she approached him at his locker. Her long dark brown hair flowing behind her.

"Um, hey Caitie" he replied. "Uh, whats up?" He was nervous. He kept running his hands through his spiky hair and shoving them in his pockets. 

"Oh nothing…" she answered him with a smile on her face. "Its just that I just so happen to have tickets to the premier of the new Matrix movie"

"No way"

"Way…and I was wondering if you wanted to join me" she asked him suddenly looking towards the ground.

"Oh y—y—yeah sure, I-I-I'd love to" he managed to choke out.

"Great! It'll be next Friday so don't forget" she told him excitedly.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't forget" he replied 

"Awesome! I gotta go right now, but I'll see ya later!" Caitie called as she made her way down the hall.

Jamie stood looking after her.  After she was out of site he quickly gathered his stuff together and headed to the EMS Station.

****end flashback*****

I cant believe this! I guess you'd call it a date, but I don't know. I must have sounded like such a loser stuttering like I was trying to tell her "No".

          Crap, I gotta go…"French hmwk doesn't get done itself" as mom always says.

James R. Waite

'Tis done…that chapter anyway.  Please review, I know it wasn't the greatest story, but I had to write something, even though it wasn't exactly the best.


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